Ready To Remember

Who are the ones who never forgot?

To my ancestors,  

To the ones I never knew,

but whose blood courses through my veins

To the ones whose names I was never told,

but whose mannerisms move through my hands

To the ones whose photos I never saw,

but who have my nose and smile

I offer you my longing

my asking

to know you

I want to look in the mirror and 

recognize myself as someone else I’m proud to come from

Like my friends who wrap their hijab 

and look in the mirror saying, 

“I look like my mother” 

I want to look like my mother, 

the one who didn’t give birth to me

and I want to want to look like the one who did

I want to know who we were 

before our blood line became infected with insanity and abandonment

the kind that hears voices and pours hot water on her kin

who learned to leave before we are left

Show me where you live in my body

Tell me who you were when you were married to land

Sing me our stories of song

braided hair and waking with the sun

catching fish and grieving our dead

Who were we before we crossed the ocean? 

Before we buried our prayers and sold our humanity for survival?

Who were the ones who never forgot? 

Who refused to pretend and chose to be burned instead?

I want to know all the wild aunties who kept the magic alive 

when everything else died

What was your name? 

What instruments did you play?

What languages did your tongue speak?

What seeds did you sew?

How did you die? 

I offer you my ears

Please fill them with the songs we chose to forget

the ones that bring seeds to life 

and overflow the well

I offer you my hands

Let them write the words I never learned to speak

reweaving the patterns of our belonging

filled with the touch that remembers the earth is alive

I offer you my eyes

Let me see your face in mine

your high cheekbones and long limbs

recognizing every stone and flower as my body

I offer you myself

your child

your daughter

your kin

ready to remember you

In the upcoming posts, I will share what conspired on each leg of my ancestral pilgrimage from Avebury to Konya. You are invited to subscribe and follow along.